Do Alpaca Farmers Make Good Congresswomen?

Cuba resident Janice Volk has thrown her furry, woolen hat into the ring. She'll be vying for the Republican nomination in the 29th District Congressional seat race. The grandmother of four will face off against a more established, more qualified, and better funded Tom Reed of Corning. What has she done that Reed hasn't? She's raised alpacas, which begs the question: can the lessons learned in alpaca farming be translated into good governing? The answer is a definitive "maybe."

Click here to view Volk's website.
Click here to view Reed's website.

Click here if you're wondering why the hell anyone would want to raise alpacas.

Citi Bank to Sponsor State Parks

Citi Bank has come to the rescue of some 55 New York State parks that have been closed as a result of state budget woes. The $25,000,000 deal, inked in a closed door session last night includes the following provisions:

1. Allegany State Park will now be known as the Citi Allegany Fun Spot.

2. Swimmers at the reopened Stony Brook swimming area will be required to wear speedos with the CitiBank logo across the ass.

3. Seneca Lake will be dyed "CitiRed" every year on CEO Vikram Pandit's birthday.

4. Each state legislator will receive a complimentary $20,000 CitiBank Ultimate 5-yr CD locked in at 3.85%.

5. The Moinihans of Jamestown, NY will be required to rename their annual Bona Vista State Park Memorial Day Picnic "The Moinihan's BBQ brought to you by Citi." Each invitation mailed shall include one application for a CitiBucks platinum credit card.

Reason Magazine has an interesting article outlining the benefits of state park privatization here (sorry Glenn Beck haters, he's right on this one). Our power-hungry lawmakers have an aversion to forfeiting control of anything. However, if they can't even keep our parks open, shouldn't we give the privilege of oversight to someone who can?

Darwin Wings Another One

Courtesy of the New York Post:

A 19-year-old teen crashed his car (with three passengers) after fainting in an attempt to drive through the entire hamlet of Garbutt while holding his breath (he's okay). It's not the first time fate has tried to deprive the teen of a long and healthy life; he's a paraplegic after suffering a fall from a window while attending SUNY Brockport.

Chautauqua Co. Legislators Want to Fire Themselves

Some of Chautauqua County's Legislators have determined that there are too many people like them around. According to the Jamestown Post-Journal, Rudy Mueller, D-Lakewood, and Scot Stutzman, I-Jamestown are again introducing a measure to eliminate legislator positions, this time shrinking the governing body from 25 to 19. Also on the agenda is a proposal to eliminate the legislator's salaries, sponsored by John Runkle, R-Stockton; John Gullo, D-Fredonia; Shaun Heenan, D-Dunkirk and George Borrello, R-Irving. The Post-Journal reports that the proposal to eliminate salaries is doomed to fail, while the proposed elimination of legislators is likely to pass.

Apparently most Chautauqua County legislators would rather risk losing their job than to keep it without pay. In truth, saving $250,000 in a budget with a deficit of $18,000,000 doesn't mean much, but it's probably a gesture that most voters would appreciate.

Perpetuating the Stereotype: Tuesday Edition

The Hornell Evening Tribune and Farm Journal reports that a Troupsburg dairy cow has given birth to a six-legged calf. Bottom line: Best Headline Ever!

Note to Self: Pay Your Sales Tax

Andrew Cuomo took a break from campaigning today to put the screws to a local business owner. According to the Dunkirk Observer, Steven L. Carlson, owner of three Chautauqua County restaurants including the Wing City Grille, has pleaded guilty of failing to pay over $400,000 in sales tax to big brother.

Said Cuomo, doing his best Superman impression, "This individual used his businesses to swindle nearly half a million dollars in sales tax revenue from the State of New York. By failing to pay these taxes, he shortchanged New Yorkers out of critical revenue that helps fund important services people rely on."

White-collar welfare recipient Jamie Woodward echoed Cuomo's sentiments. "Tax fraud hurts all New Yorkers," said the Taxation and Finance Commissioner. People like old what's-his-name "deprive the state and localities of needed revenue that support education, health care and transportation."

Wait a minute. This guy shortchanged me out of critical revenue that helps fund important services that I rely upon??? AND he's trying to deprive me of education, health care and education??? Let me at him! Oh wait, he's about to go to jail for 15 years at a cost to New Yorkers of $36,000/yr. Well, at least we'll have him off the streets. He won't be stealing education, health care, or transportation anymore!

Hornell Adsit House: Historic Treasure or Future Crackhouse?

If you've ever traveled into Hornell to get a lotto ticket and a dozen microwaved chicken wings at the Convenient, you're probably familiar with the Adsit House. It's the handsome brick house across the street. According to an article in the Hornell Evening Tribune, it was built in 1828 by one of Hornell's founding fathers. Now it's in the midst of a tense battle, as an outsider ne're-do-well developer wants to tear it down for commercial development. According to "independent" engineers, it would cost as much as $835,000 to make the building habitable. But local house-hugger Mildred McAnany is sure that she and Historic Hornell, Inc. can save the property. The Corporation's primary weapon over the last few years, legal red tape.

Now, I'm all for historic preservation, but isn't the purpose of such preservation societies to raise funds to buy properties, not block the purchase and use of them by others? Next time you're stepping out of the Convenient with your "Win for Life' ticket, glance across the street. If you see Mildred has handcuffed herself to the chimney, you'll know why.

NYS Legislature Wants to Buy More Land for State Parks

The Albany Times Union reports that the NYS legislature has blocked Paterson's plan to fund the reopening of some fifty-five state parks. Paterson had proposed using $6 million of the state's Senate proposed $222 million Environmental Protection Fund (EPF) to get the parks open, but your elected officials said "Ah, NO!" One of the primary functions of the EPF: the purchase of land for preservation. Hmmm...

Raised From the Dead

After a much needed sabbatical, a time for personal reflection, a reprise for quiet contemplation, a spell of soul searching, and a deep rooted desire to find myself, SouthernTierPolitics.com is back. I'll do my best to provide at least one post a day. Enjoy!

Paterson Loses Bisons Home Opener

I took my kid to the Buffalo Bisons Home Opener today, where Gov. Paterson was on-hand to throw out the first pitch, along with Sen. Chuck, the Buffalo Mayor and the Erie County Exec. Paterson was unmercifully booed in the pregame ceremony by the largely unemployed crowd (who else can go see a baseball game at 3:00pm on a Thursday). Perhaps Paterson will be the fall guy for the Bisons poor play today and for the remainder of the season. He is, after all, culpable for all bad things that happen to New Yorkers.