Buffalo News Admits "Ultimate" Screw-Up

The Buffalo News is retracting its story on Carl "The Rezmanian Devil" Kettle, who in a hard-hitting piece of un-news was not arrested this weekend in Salamanca and did not kick a police officer in the head causing him to lose consciousness. In addition, he did not urinate publicly and did not flee police prior to his non-existent arrest. These actions can be attributed to another ultimate fighter that shares his name.

The Buffalo News has removed the original erroneous article blaming the "Devil" from its site, as has WIVB, which piggybacked on the story. Undoubtedly, attorneys for the newspaper are waiting with bated breath to see how pissed "The Rezmanian Devil" is over this thing.

Matthew R. Swenson, attorney for the misidentified Kettle, described his client's embarrassment and humiliation over the incident.

“For the record, Mr. Kettle is a loving and dedicated husband and father, who never would use his martial arts training outside of the ring,” Swenson said in a statement.

What's most frightening is that there are two ultimate fighters in the town named Carl. L. Kettle, which begs the question: How many self-taught killing machines are there walking the streets of Salamanca? No matter, "The Rezmanian Devil" is almost certain to make more money on this bit of good fortune than he ever will in the ultimate fighting ring.

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Hanover Supervisor Opposes Centralized Assesment

Hanover Supervisor Kathy Tampio voiced concerns about Chautauqua County's proposed county-wide assessment program yesterday. She asked two legislators, David Wilder, D-Silver Creek, and Jerry Park, R-Forestville, to forward those concerns to the Legislature.

The County is considering centralizing property assessment, applying the theory that consolidating services saves money. Tampio's concern is that those townships who are heavily assessed will be carrying the weight of those townships who are currently below 100% assessment. Also being debated is whether or not the system would actually save the county money at all.

The Legislature is, in typical fashion, is forming a committee to study the situation.

Reported by the Buffalo News

State Supports Youth Center Closings

Patrick Fanelli of the Jamestown Post-Journal reports that the NYS Office of Children and Family Services supports the closing of two youth centers, one in Great Valley and the other in Limestone. The nearest such center is located in Industry, Monroe County.

The article states that local officials are fighting to keep the the centers open, but doesn't state who the officials are or why on earth they want to. According to a January '09 article in the Buffalo news, the centers cost taxpayers over $4,000,000/yr, while over 80% of the centers' residents hail from downstate. Meanwhile, Cattaraugus County sent one youth to the centers in 2008.

One can assume that these unnamed local officials are trying to protect the fifty or so employees of the centers, but that's hardly reason enough to keep shelling out that kind of money.

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