Paterson to Speak at Alfred University

Alfred University has announced the Governor David Paterson has agreed to deliver the commencement address at Alfred University on May 16th. The event is to be held at 10:00am in McLane Center. Pundits believe that the site was chosen for its ability to house a large angry mob, high ceilings for launching rotten vegetables at the podium, and double doors for easy entry and exit with pitchforks and torches.